Thou Shall Not Fall
by DarkMignonette
Summary: One must hide when the sun gets higher, but I don't know what this madness means. Enter Seras Victoria, pulled into this life of tragedy, love, and redhot bloodlust. AU, PipSeras
1. Death's Arrival

**AN: Hello! This is my first Hellsing fic, written so that I don't go insane of boredom this summer. I do enjoy writing though, even if I don't do it all the time, and regardless of the fact that I am terrible at it. But I had fun with this chapter, and I plan on updating soon. I love Hellsing, and I wanted to put the those characters from the manga in a typical gothic/historical background. This story was inspired from listening to songs such as 'Cry Little Sister' and 'Lost in the Shadows' from the movie The Lost Boys.  
There will be romance later on, Pip/Seras to be exact, so be warned of that. Sorry if anyone seems OOC, I tried my best for everyone to stay themselves.  
Oh, and I don't really like harsh criticism, please go easy on me! **

**But thank you for taking the time to read this, it's appreciated. Enjoy!**

**(I don't own Hellsing! Kouta Hirano-sama does of course)  
**

* * *

_The year is 1670, middle of summer, when every person in London is busy living their lives. That's when everything started, when life changed so suddenly, and I changed along with it. That day, it was such a long time ago, so long ago..yet I can remember it like it was yesterday. _

_I was really naive then, just turned twenty, living in a rather nice, large, city house with my aunt. It's funny, my aunt, she used to try and teach me how to do housework. You know, cooking and cleaning 'an stuff. I've always helped out around the house, but I wasn't that great at it. So I had to re-learn, as I was to be married off soon, and I had to be a 'good wife so my husband would love me.' I didn't want to get married, I didn't want a husband, despite all the suitors that were bugging me. _

_I met a man of a different sort that year, but he wasn't interested in marriage at all. No, he was interested in something much, much, stranger.  
_

* * *

"Seras, now that you're done dusting, come poor some tea for our guests. Now."

I sighed for the hundredth time today. That women, family or not, was going to drive me up the wall. Whoever said that there is no stronger bond than family is a bloody idiot. My aunt's house is nice, the objects in the house are nice, the servants? Nice. She however, _not nice. Not nice at all. _

"Girl! Stop daydreaming and come here!" she barked from across the room. "Honestly. No man is going to want to marry you, acting like that."

I sighed. Again. _What if I don't want to be married? _

Those thoughts didn't leave my head, though, and I just replied a quick 'Yes ma'am' and poured the damn tea. I tried to look as graceful and delicate as possible so she would stop hounding me about being a lady.

That seems like all anyone does, sit and drink tea, be a lady. Unless of course you're male, or poor. I glanced up at her guests. All older women, one redhead, two blonds. Well, that's how it appears, they could be wearing wigs for all I know. Their cloths look expensive, fluffy cuffs and collars and stomachs pushed in skin-tight corsets. They, as well as my aunt, are sitting on her pretty couch, the one that has all the embroidered pillows. Light flows throughout this room, because of the big window in the front, and it hits their skin, but it makes the women shiny and fake. Like a rich girl's version of a tea party with fragile, lifeless, porcelain dolls..

"Excuse me, my tea is overflowing, young lady."

That snapped me out of my thoughts, making me jump, thus knocking the cup over, spilling hot tea all over the table. _Great, just great_. "Oh sorry! Sorry! I didn't mean..!"

The redhead (with a now wet lap) screamed and stood up, then wiped the liquid off her dress with delicate hands. "The nerve of you! Little girl! You need to learn your manners!"

_Little girl? _"Look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to I-"

"Seras, leave us, now!" Interrupted again, my aunt this time. "I will clean this up, since you obviously can't!"

_Bite your tongue, don't say a word_.."Yes ma'am..." I left, grateful to be out of there.

I climbed up the winding stairs, hearing the chattering women and my aunt apologizing for her 'rude niece' over and over. Stifled tears washed up through my eyes, causing that slight choking feeling. _Stupid, they are stupid._

I went up to my room, closed the door, and sat in front of the the big vanity mirror. _Cry, I won't cry_.

I put my head down and took a few deep breaths. "Why must it be this way, Mum, Dad, why did you leave me?" _You were taken away.._

Despite my wishes, I cried at that thought. Not loud enough for anyone outside to hear me, but it filled the silence in the room. "They wouldn't care anyway, so what's the matter?" I whimpered, fat tears flowing down my face. _Murdered, those who did care were murdered.._

_Sometimes I think it would have been easier if I had just died with them..just died there.._

_Wish for death, and it just might come, my dear._

I jumped upright in the chair, nearly falling out of it in the process. I blinked, and my startled face peered back at me from the mirror. Just my face in the room, not anyone else's. Just my face, not anyone else's. I got cold all the way down to my toes, and the hair on the back of my neck stood at attention. "Wha- wha- what was that?" _That was not my voice, or my thought! I didn't think that, what-_

I heard a knock on the door, and this time I really did fall out of the chair, landing on my bum, and it hurt. It took me a minute to find my voice, but I squeaked out a "What?"

"It's Lily Miss. Seras. There's a gentlemen here to see you, shall I send him up?" Lily, a nice servant girl, not a ghoul or a monster. I made myself relax a little, getting up off of the floor. Not thinking I said "Yeah, sure."

The door opened, and a tall man came in, not much of a looker really, black hair and grey eyes, sharp features in the face. Can't remember his name, and I didn't like him much, he acted funny and something about him un-nerved me. Lily didn't like him either, obviously, because she eyed him as she left the room.

He gave me a rather odd look. I realized I must of appeared a bit crazy, as jumpy as I was, eyes slightly red from crying and a flustered look of my face. "I was uh, I mean, I fell."

"Are you alright?" This asked in slithering voice that crawled along one's skin. _Why is he here again?_

"Yes I'm fine." I smoothed down the front of my dress. "What is it you need sir?"

He smiled, if you would call it smiling, and looked down for a second. "Actually, I was wondering if I could have your hand in marriage."

..."Huh?" I said, oh-so-ladylike. Then I was at a loss for words. Sure, others had asked, but not like that, so blunt, and out of the blue. _Things just keep getting weirder and weirder.._

He looked at me, waiting for a real answer. "Um, um, I don't know." **No**, _was what I want, need, to say, but-but.._

"You don't know? But I need to know now Miss Seras, as I'm leaving for France tomorrow, and I'd like to take you with me." That smile again, like a pleased cat. _Or a pleased snake.._

"France? _France_?" I was gawking, I know it. But, _France_?

"Yes, is there something wrong with France?" He pushed. "Surely you've wanted to go there before."

"Well sure, but-but I mean, I mean.." I was stuttering.._just say it, say no! _

I turned away for a second and counted to ten. Why can't boys just leave me alone? I don't want anyone! I turned to the mirror, as if my reflection would answer the question. The girl peering back at me was pretty. Sweet face, short platinum blond hair, big blue-blue eyes; a dress that was a rich yellow, white frills and a corset that covered an embarrassingly large chest. So what? _Nothing real special_. I turned back and faced the source of annoyance.

"You mean what, Miss Seras?" Waiting, he was waiting, when he should be leaving. _What does he want with me?_

That look said he was pleased with himself, a look that said I'm supposed to throw myself at his feet..Damn him!

"You know what, NO, I mean no!" Enough was enough! I'd rather die then marry a man like him!

_You'd rather die..._

I stormed out of the room, slammed the door in his face, and watched some of the servants move quickly out of my way as I walked.

"You are mine!" He yelled as he opened the door. "I already asked your aunt for her permission, and I will marry you tomorrow morning whether you like it or not Seras!" He was following me now..Damn him!

I stomped down the winding stairs, making quite a noise and catching everyone in the house's attention, including that of my aunt. "Seras Victoria what is the matter with you?!"

"That lunatic behind me! That's what's wrong! And you people, all of you people, making me be someone I'm not! I'm not getting married, I'm not going to be a '_lady_', I'm going to be Seras Victoria **because that is who I am!**

Everyone was staring at me like I was crazy, and I felt the urge to cry again but didn't..and with that I opened the door, slammed it, and ran off into the night.

* * *

My aunt's house was disappearing behind me as I continued on through the misty streets. It had just rained, the ground was damp and a bit of a fog had moved through, making everything appear darker than it really was..yet that didn't stop the people of London on a Friday night; out visiting friends, or lovers, or going to a pub no doubt. Me though, I didn't know what my destination was. Not that it really mattered.

I tilted my face up to the sky; it had began to drizzle again. It felt so nice now, earlier today it had been so unbearably hot that I couldn't stand it. Summer is like that I guess. Looking around I noticed that people were hurrying out of the rain, and I was alone. Lifting up my dress slightly, so it wouldn't get wet, I started moving on too.

When I really think about it, everything seems so depressing when it rains. Colors of dark blue, purple, and grey fill the sky and the streets, but it's oddly pretty. The lights from inside the buildings are the only real warmth, source of color, and if you listen hard enough you can hear the chatter of the people. Suddenly I felt really isolated, being out here. I smiled despite this, it was better than going back right?

London is just a mystical place in the evenings, eerie in the way that the shadows call to you from the alleyways, like a different world altogether from the mainstreets. The mainstreets, they are the source of traffic, source of human activity and comfort, safety. But those alleyways..dark, cold and wet. But you still want to go to them, despite the fact that you don't know what is in those shadows, lurking there, watching you.

I suddenly didn't feel so content like I was a moment ago. I thought of that almost forgotten voice that had appeared in my head earlier. _Wish for death and it just might come, my dear_. What does that mean exactly? And can you say creepy? Very, very unnerving.

I started walking faster, and when a rat moved past my foot I jumped, letting out a yelp. _Pull yourself together Seras! There is nothing after you!_

A big, tight knot was forming in my gut as I realized I didn't know where I was. I looked around for something familiar, but nothing was helpful. _Oh everything looks so different after dark! Panic, don't panic_!

But I was slowly starting to panic. If I didn't know where I was, then how did I expect to find my way back? _Keep walking, keep walking.._

The night's big, suffocating darkness didn't help either. And this damn fog..oh, where did the street go?

I was in one of those dark alleys. How did I _manage_ this? Not good, not good, damn!

I heard a loud crash, like the sound of a trashcan hitting the ground. Fear jolted through my body; that god awful feeling that makes you feel like your falling from a very high place, that numbness. I was running now, where I don't know, but every shadow seemed to leap at me, every noise some giant monster bringing death to me. _Oh god..!_

Tripping over my dress, running through the blackness, my feet hit the puddles with a _splash_! I could just imagine that this was my end. Breathing like mad, I wanted to go home now. _Too bad you don't have a real home to go too, eh Seras?_

Crying, I was crying again, and tears blurred my vision. _They were murdered.. _

Something grabbed my arm, yanked it back, and I let out a cry. I fell and hit my side on the sopping ground, only to be jerked right back up again.

"Didn't hurt yourself, did you, little girl?"

I was looking into the face of that man, that bastard that _snake_..! Anger filled my senses, but I was helpless as he turned and bent my arm at a painful angle.

"Pity I can't find a virgin as lovely as you to marry! But you won't let me have you...so I'll just ravish you while I'm here, what do you think?" One hand went down and touched me where I had never been touched, where his hands should never be. "Then I'll cut out your throat, so those pretty lips of yours will never tell a soul what we did!"

_Oh no, god, someone help me!! Help me!!! _Scared, I was scared now, and I tried to fight but..tears poured down my face, and I did the only thing I could do, I screamed. As loud as I could through the sobbing.

_Am I really going to die this way?!_

_No._

I stop wailing, and I felt the bastard go rigid. Everything got quiet, and it seemed like time froze for just a second. I don't know what it was he heard, but both of us strained to see through the shadows. Nothing, nobody moved. Silence.

..Then I saw it; a great shape leaped out of the darkness, almost too fast for the eye to see. I screamed, but was suddenly tore out of the grasp of my attacker. I hit the ground with more force then last time, the wind knocked out of me. I glanced up just in time to see the shadow twist the bad man's neck with a loud _'snap!'._

The corpse was thrown aside into the night, forgotten. Then I noticed the shadow had a face, and it turned to me.

_Wha-_

It was on my neck, something was on my neck. _Get it off, get off, get off now, go, GO AWAY_! I couldn't breath, _can't breath_..

_Death has come Seras. What will you do?_

On my back now, upper half of my body wet, in a puddle. My mouth is open, but I can't make a sound, not with that, _weight on me, gnawing_ at my throat I-

Liquid, I feel something warm run down the side of my neck. I scream, finally, I find the strength to scream.

Then it all goes black.

* * *

My eyes opened, ever so slowly, squinting at the light, my head throbbing..

_Wait, light?_

I jerked upright, even though my body was screaming at me to lie back down. I coughed and jerked, but still managed to look around. I was in a big bed with cream, satin sheets, a vanilla colored room..golden mirror on the wall. I was in my bed, my room, my aunts house. _What happened? Just a..nightmare?_

I blinked, and winced again. The light was so..irritating, making my head pound.

_But I'm safe._

I left out a breath, and relaxed. I had no idea what was going on, but I wasn't in that dark alley, I wasn't dead, or..

I didn't finish that thought, as I happened to glance in the mirror. My reflection startled me, and I felt the emotion of fear crawl back and catch my heart, making my pulse quicken.

My dress was still that rich, golden yellow color, only there was dried mud caked on the front. I was pale, deathly pale and sickly. On my neck was some kind of wound, and dried blood mixed with the mud. Peering closer the wound was, a_ bite mark_? I reached up and touched it with delicate hands, and gasped.

My breath got caught in my throat in an instant. There was a man sitting in the chair on the other side of the room, and he had the face of that shadow.

The nightmare wasn't over, and I wanted to scream, but my lips would not even open. I thought I was going to faint..I blinked, and he was at the bedside.

"Don't be afraid." He said. He towered over me, an amused look on his face. His hair was messy, and one of the darkest shade of blacks I had ever seen on a person. Pale skin, and strangely red eyes that matched the color of his crimson duster.

I whimpered out a "who are you?" only to see his grin widen in response. _He has fangs!_

"Would you like to be freed from this?"

"W-what?" _What in the bloody hell is going on?_

"You were bitten, you will turn into a Nosferatu soon..right now you are in a state between death and life. If you want to die as a human, I will kill you..if not, then say so."

I gulped. "Uh-um I- "

"Do you, or do you not want to be freed from all that which you dread, girl? I ask again, do you want to come with me?"

_All that which you dread.._

_This loneliness, my path of living forced by others who don't care.._

_The memories of that night._

"..Yes. B-but, who are you?"

"Alucard. You will call me, Master."

_At that moment, I had no idea about all the things that were to come. Naive, little Seras that I always was. There was a long road ahead of me._


	2. Plague's Curse

**AN: Second chapter! Sorry that this one was longer, but I really don't like leaving with a cliffhanger. Parts of this felt strange to write..especially the section at the end. So I must warn you, things get kinda morbid. Hope you enjoy regardless!**

* * *

_  
Things changed even after that nightmare was over. I gladly left my former ways behind and moved on to entirely unknown territory, and a very strange, new, way of living. I was now 'borne to the night' as my Master called it. But Master was different from me, he thought nothing of what he did and acted like he knew about anything and everything in the world. I looked up to him then, though I also thought he was just this side of mad. Something in those crimson eyes terrified me, and he was entirely unknown, just like the life...erm, 'unlife' I was thrown into._

_He laughed at me, scolded me, because I didn't want to follow all of his examples. I was stubborn, but my ways were set, regardless of how much it scared(and hurt) me to go against his wishes and orders. Master called me a timid evening walker when I refused to drink that..liquid, that my body was screaming at me to take in. But even though I starved myself, I was still slowly turning into something that makes your veins run cold, a monster that leaps out of the shadows to devour you._

"Master, um, w-where are we going?"

We were currently walking along the streets, in a part of London I wasn't familiar with and had never visited. Those who passed us nodded their heads in a hello, clueless as to what we were. I suppose they thought we were noble, had money, or something like that. And I guess we looked it, they way we were dressed.

"Tonight is a beautiful night, so we're out to enjoy it." That was his reply to me, and he said it without even a glance from behind. _Oh great, I know what that means. _I grumbled to myself. I'd get another lecture before morning for sure.

_But master is nice in some ways! _I swooshed my new dress and tried to keep its ends off the ground. He had fitted and bought me for a new one, after my last dress was stained with mud and blood and god knows what else. It was still yellow, but bigger, more frills and lace and I felt like some kind of princess. I had to laugh at the irony in that.

I lifted my gaze to the humans around us, nice faces, some looked at us in envy, others curiosity. There was the poor homeless man over by the church, asking for money with a pleading voice and desperate eyes. Over by the pub was a group of men, laughing, joking, and earning themselves glares from women that passed them. On the other side of the street was a little girl holding a doll, walking with her parents and chatting happily. All different lives, different social classes, yet they had one thing in common. Blood. They had blood, every single one of them, and despite the fact that they had feelings and loved ones, I wanted to drain them of it. I wanted to feel the warmth and iron taste on my lips as they died.

_No, no I don't __**want**__ to, I don't want to be this..thing. I have a heart, I appreciated life. _

I gripped my dress tighter and tried to block out the sounds of their heartbeats. I wanted to reach out and snatch one, like a clawed cat grabs a mouse. _Don't do it! You have more self control than this!_

I started to shake like mad and I stopped, earning strange looks from bystanders. Taking in an worthless breath I put a hand on my chest and coughed.

Master stopped too and looked at me. "It would be much easier to control if you would just give in, you fool." He said as he wound an arm around my elbow. "Now come on, and lean against me if you must. I don't want you to fall and get dirty; that dress was expensive and I won't buy you another one."

I panted and nodded. Slightly leaning against his side, I tried to get my eyes to focus once again. _Bloody hell this is horrible, I feel so bad._

"Excuse me sir..is your lady friend doin ok there?"

I blinked and looked up at the source of this new voice, only to come face to face with an ugly man. Who was staring openly and directly at my chest. _Bloody hell, could you be any more rude?_

Anger chased away my bloodlust in an instant, and I opened my mouth to yell; however Master stopped me before I could. "She's fine. But I think we could use some assistance."

The stranger looked away from me and glanced up at him. He muttered a quick "Be happy to help" and Master smiled. _Uh-oh._

"Come with us then." He turned around and started off. I followed quickly after, taking my place at Master's side, glaring at the pervert as I went. I noticed the man was well dressed but drunk, I could smell the alcohol on his breath. What an idiot! I was tempted to stick my tongue out at him but didn't.

I was pretty sure I knew what was about to happen, but with Alucard you can never be positive. Though I felt a big, tight knot form in my gut regardless. _Please not this again._

We rounded the corner, passed a pharmacy, and were then led into darkness; the light of the streets fading away behind us.

I suddenly felt very bad for this man, even if I was complaining about him a moment ago. He had only crossed the wrong people at the wrong time.

The stranger was nervous and tripping all over the place; it was hard for humans to see at night, and even harder when drunk. "Where a-are we going?"

Master stopped, turned around, and looked down at the man, crimson eyes shining. "Any last words?" He purred.

I got out of the way and closed my eyes. I didn't want to see it.

"No what-"

I felt Alucard move, heard the man step back, heard him try to scream; though I knew he couldn't, Master had his hand tightly over his mouth. 'Wouldn't want to attract unwanted attention.'

I knew that the life of the stranger was dripping away slowly. I knew this was wrong in every way. We weren't God, we shouldn't be doing this..It isn't up to us to pick who lives and who dies.

I could smell the blood. Once again I felt the hunger crash to the surface, making me fall to my knees and gnash my fangs together. I'm sure my eyes were red now, and glowing, just like Master's. The sound of tearing flesh really wasn't helping anything. Why.. My hands went to the side of my head, the awful shaking had started.

"Come here."

I tensed up. _No..no..I-_

"Come here." More force and irritation this time.

I got up, slowly, and turned around. Master was staring at me, calmly, yet with that same bizarre emotion lurking below the surface. Eyes cutting through the night like sharp rubies, hair hanging in his face, teeth like that of a shark. How inhuman he looked. _No, how inhuman we are. _He corrected.

He was holding the limp form of the stranger out to me. The body had deep teeth wounds on the swell of the neck, and blood trickled onto the ground. _So..horrible_! Though it was taking all my willpower not to lunge out regardless.

"Finish him off." _I wish my body would stop shaking so damn bad.._I looked away. _I can't do this, I won't._

"Do it, now!" He growled at me, his deep voice almost at a yell. I winced, and he was at my face in an instant. "You _are_ a killer, you _are_ a vampire! Give in to what that dead body of yours is telling you!" I wanted to cry, he jerked me up by neck. "**You are weak**!"

"But I-I..."

Silence, then: "There it is, that's it exactly." He let go. I dropped to the ground, still shaking, still avoiding those eyes. "You will give in to it. Unless you plan on killing yourself, that stubbornness can't last for eternity." Laughing, he was laughing at me.

"Master.."

He ignored me and lifted a foot onto the dieing man's head, crushing it swiftly. I turned away and tried to block out the sound of it as tears rolled down my face. I scoffed at myself and wiped them away..they were red, just like everything else.

"Lets go. Come follow me in fear through the darkest of shadows." With that he started off, expecting me to do the same behind him, which I did. We reached the end of the ally and started back down the street.

_God help all the humans out tonight I thought._

* * *

This time we were standing by the side of a building, for what reason I don't know. Waiting for some random, unlucky bugger probably. _Because the torment never ends. But at least now there aren't as many people and I can control myself._

I was still shaken up by the last incident, though it happened quite a few hours ago. I _really_ didn't want to repeat it. I held a hand to my forehead. _Boy what a night._

I peeked a look over at Alucard, who was leaning against the wall with all that grace he had. He looked bored, but then again, that's what his usual expression was. Well, besides for that mad grin that he wore when terribly amused about something. I preferred the former because it didn't scare the hell out of me.

"Don't look so glum." I jumped. _I wish he wouldn't do that_. "The moon is full tonight, didn't you know that that's a good sign?" He asked.

I was pouting, I know, but didn't care. "Yeah, I guess.."

We heard single footsteps. He swung his gaze to a man quickly approaching us. "Looks like we're about to have company."

_Don't come near, if you value your life run away from us please.._

"What are you two doing out here?" The man held out a lantern, fire lighting up all our faces. He was older, in his late forties I'd say, and he had on a navy blue uniform.

"We're just waiting for someone officer, we'll be leaving soon." Master said.

_He's a police officer!_ I became alarmed instantly. "No, you'll be leaving now sir. I'm sorry but this shop is closed so you have no reason to be here."

Alucard grabbed his wrist. "Oh, but I do." He smiled, baring fangs.

_No!_

**"DON'T!"** I shouted, catching them off guard. They stopped mid-motion; the officer going for his club and the vampire clutching his wrist.

"Um.." I didn't know what to say, I didn't think they'd actually pay attention. "Can we just..go Master, please?"

I braced myself for the worst. "Why, why should we spare him?"

The man tried to speak but I got there first. "Because..don't you think you've had enough tonight? I just..I'm really tired.."

"Hm." He pushed the man away. "That's not it." _Great, he wants to push farther_.

I was quiet for a minute, eyes downcast. "..My father was a Police officer." I blurted. I didn't want him to know that but..

He stared at me. "Ah, so you're a Police girl."

I blinked. "What?"

"Come on then. Lets go home Policegirl. I'm in the mood to drink from a wine glass anyhow."

_Police girl?_

I was left gaping at him, while the officer stood there speechless with me. I guess the whole thing must have seemed strange to the man.

I turned and smiled apologetically at him. "Uh excuse us!" I said as I ran off after Master.

The man then tried to call out to us, but we were already gone.

* * *

It's a new night, different time, different location. I think we were still in part of London, though I wasn't sure. There weren't as many people, and the ones that were around looked poor and tired, dragging along sadly. They reminded me of ghouls, this whole place did, with all the grey sadness that hung in the air like a storm. It wasn't improving my glum mood at all! 

I was walking a little ways behind Master, keeping my distance. I was wary after what had happened the last time we went out. I despised these outings, and would rather be inside my coffin for forever than do this. Also like every night, I had no idea where we were going. Sometimes I didn't think Master knew either, or maybe he just liked keeping me in the dark.

The screech of a bat drew me from my thoughts, and I looked towards the sky. The moon was covered by clouds, not a star in sight. _No good signs tonight, that's for sure. _

I sighed. I don't want to be here, wherever we are. The people came off as lifeless and creepy, and I kept catching the scent of decay. _Maybe the plague had been through here_. I shivered. _Don't think about that._

But it was already thought about, the damage was done. Slowly I started to notice the occasional door with a big, red 'X' painted across the front. I heard a lady screaming as she was dragged away from one. Two men were carrying a covered body out of another, and I caught a glimpse of a purple dotted hand.

I felt sick. "Master, why are we here?"

He didn't answer me, but kept moving. I fumed and said nothing, I knew better.

_Still_, I thought, _at least I don't have to worry about the plague anymore. I won't have to worry about any disease ever again. _

_You won't have to worry about dieing or growing old either._

I wish he wouldn't invade my thoughts like that_. Master?_

_There's a hospital up ahead. We're going there because you won't prey on the living, but maybe the near-dead would be more your taste._

I made a face. The near dead? That made my stomach churn. I couldn't imagine draining sick blood from a plague victim, they looked like corpses on their own!

_If that disgusts you Policegirl, then you need to start drinking like a proper vampire. Keep going the way you are and you'll look just like a ghoul._

That thought made my heart sink, but what could I do? It wouldn't change anything.

We neared closer to the imposing looking hospital; the scent of death was caked on the building like a curse. But at least it was busier than the streets, as people were darting in and out.

I still didn't want to go in there, but from the looks of it I had no choice. _Go on Policegirl, don't dawdle. _

Might as well get it over with, not like I'm going to feed anyway. "Yes my Master."

I walked up towards the doors, and when I turned back around, Alucard was nowhere in sight. _Wonder where he's off to. _Then again, I probably didn't want to know.

I shook my head and went in. The smell hit my face like a ton of bricks, and I stepped back for a minute. Death was all over the place, and even if normal humans couldn't smell it, I could. I put a hand over my face.

A tall nurse passed, then stopped and turned to me with concern. "Are you alright miss?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just such a shock to see..." I trailed off.

"I know" she said. "It's all very sad."

I nodded in agreement. "So are you here to visit someone?" She asked. Uh-oh..

"Well I- uh, yeah."

She placed a hand on my shoulder. "I hope they overcome their sickness then." She smiled at me. "Just be sure to stay away from all the marked doors." And with that, she left.

_I wish everyone wouldn't be so trusting of me. What if I was like Master..? But..Then again, I'm not any different from him either. _I thought, as I remembered why I was here in the first place.

I ignored the rooms and the people in them as I walked toward the stairs. My body started it's usual reactions from the bloodlust lurking under the surface, only it was mild this time. I'm surprised I haven't tripped yet!

Once on the second floor, I didn't really know what to do. Rooms, rooms, and more rooms, but.."Um, where do I go now?"

I was about to call for Alucard, but a moan of pain surprised me. It made me jump at first, though I followed the sound into a room at the end of the hallway.

The cry stopped as I entered. Men laying on mats filled the entire space, most of them sleeping. The source of the sound was by the window; a younger man was tossing and turning, eyes shut tight and blankets thrown aside. His arms and side were rapped up in bandages.

For whatever reason, I quietly tip-toed over to him, careful not to step on the bodies around me. Most of them were still alive but wounded, and appeared to be victims of battle rather than victims of disease.

I sat next to the stranger's side. I was surprised to see that he had only one eye, which was covered up by an eyepatch. He had brown hair that was tied into a braid so long it looked like a chain, and it moved as he turned around. He looked flushed and feverish. I placed the back of my hand on his forehead, and I felt the heat seep into my skin. _He does feel really warm._

I just sat there, and noticed that his movements had stopped. _What am I doing here anyway?_ _I'm not about to feed off these people, they have enough pain as it is. _

"Hnn.." His one eye fluttered, but stayed closed.

_No, don't wake up!_ I tried to take my hand back from his face, but he held it there.

He was whispered something I didn't understand, so I leaned closer. I laughed when I realized he was blabbering in French. _No wonder I couldn't make it out!_

He opened his eye fully and I froze.

I didn't move. He watched me, a dazed look on his face. ..._Does he even know what's going on?_

"...Um..hello.." I started.

"Bonjour." He grinned at me lazily.

I smiled despite myself. "Uh, bonjour."

He started to speak rapidly in French, and I waved my hand. "Uh, no, no I-..I don't speak French..Do you speak English?"

He turned completely on his side carefully, then winced. "Dammit that hurts." He sighed. Guess that answered my question.

"At first I thought I was dead, but I guess not." He said with a slight accent, his voice breathy from waking up. "I mean, waking up to see such an angelic face, I thought, 'hot damn I'm in heaven'!"

If I wasn't a vampire I would have blushed very very badly then. And to make things worse I noticed just how..handsome he was. With that braid tossed around his neck, he was blue eyed, muscled and messy.

_Oh don't think like that!_ I made a face.

He gave me a curious look. "You a nurse or something?"

_Ack, what now? See what you got yourself into Seras?_ "Well no, I'm a visitor..I heard someone cry out in pain so I thought I'd check."

"Kind of you." He brushed bangs from his face. "But you don't need to be here girlie, you might catch something unpleasant."

I blinked. "But everyone only looks wounded." _Not like I can get sick anyway._

He partially unwrapped the bandages. A few blisters were there on his arm, the skin slightly discolored. The start of the plague!

My heart sank. "I've been touched by the Black Death herself, so I don't have much longer." He smiled sadly. "It's a shame, I don't know what my men will do without their _dashing_ commander."

"You don't know for sure if you're going to..you know..I mean-"

"Oh no, I'm sure I don't have a chance in hell. Plus these injuries don't help any." He gestured to his side. "Look, you need to get out of here, there's no reason you should catch this shit from me." He grasped my hand and placed it on his cheek. "But at least I got to see a beautiful girl before I go."

_I'm so glad I can't blush. _I was uncomfortable again, what was I supposed to do? I brushed fingertips across his face.

"Hnn..why are you so cold?" He asked quietly, almost asleep.

I didn't answer, only placed my hand in back in my lap and resisted the urge to cry. Then I sat there a minute until he was out, his breathing even.

Then I noticed it; he had forgotten to wrap his arm back up in the bandages. There was a deep cut under the blisters that was starting to bleed. I felt the hunger rise again, as it was always under my skin, waiting for the right time to appear. I whimpered and resisted, but unlike yesterday, I was weak now. As my body shook like it does, I leaned over. Quiet, I was ever so quiet, and close. I could hear what sounded like a loud heartbeat in my ears, though I knew it wasn't my own pulse.

Panting, I slipped my tongue into the wound. There was enough willpower left to keep me from biting down or draining him of everything; though that line was very thin. I cleaned the wound, bathing in the sharp copper taste as blood ran down my mouth. Messy..

I dragged fangs across his skin, but never puncturing flesh. The sensation of salt mixed with the copper made an odd taste, yet my mouth watered.

He made a noise between a whimper and a moan, and I froze.

Something similar to a growl trickled from my lips as I slowly moved again, burying my face in his neck.

"Hey! What are you doing?!"

I jumped, spun around and snarled at the intruder. How dare they interrupt me!!

It was the same nurse as before, fear written on her features.

She stepped back, I stepped forward. I bared my fangs and smiled; I could hear the pulse of her heartbeat.

_PoliceGirl._

I blinked. _Master?_ My bloodlust dissolved at his voice.

The woman was watching me carefully, eyes gone big.

I wiped the blood from my mouth with the back of my hand, jumped down from the window and fled out into the night.


	3. Strangers in France

_I had sped through the dark, running until I could no longer, reminding me of the night I was turned. That helped nothing, only strengthening my instinct to get away. But escape was nowhere._

_When Master found me I was clawing at the earth, trying to hide away from the rising sun. I had been dazed, tired, and a mess, yet he said nothing, only lifted me up and started on towards safety._

_I remember thinking that I should feel guilty, appalled at my actions. But all I could recall was sense of fulfillment. I had a someone else's blood in my system, and it brought me peace, if only for a moment._

_There was a voice deep down telling me how wrong it all was, despite everything. The suffering of others should never bring me happiness, it never did before. But these thoughts were getting smaller, less frequent, and I feared my conscience would soon disappear completely._

_And then there was Master, who told me that hanging on to human emotions would get me nowhere. I wasn't human anymore. I went against his teachings with quiet rebellion, but I was losing the battle. Slowly, mind you, but it was still happening._

_Then after a few months, after I was at a breaking point, Alucard decided(out of the blue) that we should go to France. Something about there was someone he wanted to meet, though I wondered who on earth would be interesting enough to get his attention. Was it another vampire? So far I hadn't ran into one of our kind, so I had been curious to find out. But he wouldn't tell me anything, only dragged me along with him. I figured he'd expect me to follow him to the ends of the earth if he so wished. And I probably would, he was my Master._

_We left after he informed me we were leaving England. I had never been out of my country, so it was something new. We traveled by ship, a rough one at that, but we hid from the crew and stayed to ourselves. But one good thing about being a vampire was that we didn't get seasick, according to Alucard, which I found out was true. I was very thankful for that._

_We didn't feed much that then, and only Master drained the small unfortunate animals of their blood. I didn't like looking at rats, let alone eating them, so I drank nothing. With the exception of alcohol, but I couldn't get drunk, so there was no escape there either..though I downed bottle after bottle in an attempt to soothe the hunger._

_Master just shook his head at me._

_Maybe moving was his attempt to snap me out of the phase I was in. Maybe, but you could never know for sure._

_But I knew one thing: There were going to be surprises waiting for us in France. I could feel it._

* * *

We had gotten off the ship a few hours ago, and were now exploring the port. It was pretty, and busy, despite it being nighttime. The stars were out, shining brightly, the moon a great big orb in the sky. The wind brushed against my face, drifting along and carrying foreign voices with it. The night was crisp, and I took it in with a breath, pretending to be human for just a moment.

I'd always wanted to see France after my mum said she'd been there. She had told me about it, and it sounded like a beautiful place. And it was, yes, but I had wanted to see it with my parents. Nothing I could do about that now, so I thought I might as well try and enjoy it.

I was still in the dark as to why we were here, Alucard had said nothing to me about it. I would have asked, but it would've been in vain.

We found a hotel not too far away, and the clerk knew English, which made things much easier. I didn't know a word of French, though Master might have. Either way, he requested a room with the least number of windows. The clerk had looked at him oddly, but said nothing about it. I was also surprised when Alucard told him that our luggage would be arriving soon. I didn't even know we _brought_ luggage.

Later I asked him about it at the room, and he said that he did in fact bring the coffins.

"How on earth did you get them here?" I though that we hadn't taken them with us. "And they're _huge_ coffins. I don't think..."

"Money, Police Girl. Large sums of money." He replied, stretching out on the couch like a big cat.

I frowned. Okay..but I had to wonder..where did he get the money? I just shrugged at him. Like everything else, I didn't ask.

I left the room and went to unpack some of my things that I had brought. And after a few minutes, I realized that I was missing something, but I just couldn't figure out what it was. I pulled out some dresses, some undergarments, and a few necklaces I had kept from home.

Necklaces, that was it. My sapphire choker was missing.

I couldn't have been so careless as to leave it, could I? I started to search frantically. I would be crushed if I had lost it. It was my only expensive piece, handed down to me from my family. A big, blue stone, that usually hung around my neck.

I searched for a good ten minutes, but had no luck. It was gone.

I sighed. I couldn't believe I had left it in London, if that's where it was at all.

I walked from my room defeated, looking for Master. He was still on the couch, but staring at me, frowning. His eyes had that crimson tint to them, and I hated it when those orbs looked at me. It was unnerving sometimes.

I shifted my feet nervously. "What?"

_Find what you were looking for?_

Again with the telepathy. _Master! I wish you wouldn't invade my thoughts!_

He flashed me a sharp toothed grin. _Too bad._

I grumbled to myself and plopped down in a chair. I think he enjoys tormenting me, it always seemed like he was interested in what I'd do. As if I was a toy, or plaything.

He said nonchalantly: "There's a new dress for you in my bag. Go get it, but don't touch anything else."

I blinked at him. A new dress? But the gold one I was wearing was brand new, and just fine. Not that I didn't appreciate it.

_What are you waiting for?_

I jumped. "Oh, right!"

I went to his room, and carefully went through the big black bag. Even though he gave me permission, I still felt like I shouldn't be in here. Invading his privacy was the last thing I wanted to do, and it felt like it'd be a deadly mistake if I did.

There wasn't anything unusual or scary in his room, despite what I expected. Just a few of his clothes, which I didn't touch, as he asked.

Finally I pulled a big scarlet cloth out of the bag, and I was taken aback. It was a beautiful dress, with black lining and lace at the edges. I loved it, and like all the dresses Master bought for me, it looked like something a princess would wear.

I shut the door and put it on. It was difficult to get into, but I managed after a few minutes. There was an elegant mirror conveniently placed on the wall, and I peered at my reflection. The dress looked great on me, drawing attention to my porcelain white skin and blue eyes. But...I pulled at the lace covering my chest. It came down really low on my bosom, showing quite a lot of cleavage. I frowned. Master wasn't a closet pervert was he?

_No, you idiot. Now come out here._

I jumped, startled, smacking the mirror on accident and almost knocking it off the wall. Once again, I was wishing he wouldn't invade my thoughts.

I slinked into the room with a red face, looking embarrassed. "I didn't mean that Master...I just-"

"Go get us a meal." He interrupted, brushing his dark hair from his face.

I raised an eyebrow. "A meal? And how am I going to do that?"

He looked annoyed at me again. "Bring back a human."

Oh.

I didn't want to do that, not in the least. "But-"

"Just lure someone here, but kill them before they make any noise." He stood up and headed for the door. Where was he going? "I don't want any attention drawn to us. Snap their necks, tear out their throats, anything, just don't let them scream."

..And he could say things like that without an ounce of guilt. I looked down at my feet. He was truly a monster sometimes, yet.."thanks for the dress, Master." I said.

But I got no reply, he was already gone.

* * *

Alucard's crazy if he thinks that I'll lure someone back there to be killed.

I couldn't speak French anyway, so what could I do? Tie a person up and lug them back to the hotel?

I thought over these things while I walked, having no real destination, just enjoying the night. I had found myself in the lower class part of town, the buildings run down, few people in the streets. It was late, but the first tint of sunlight would soon be on the horizon. Though the stars and moon were the only ones in the sky for now. And they shown brightly tonight, lighting my way through the darkened streets. I had finally gotten used to the fact that I didn't have to be afraid of being alone. It wasn't like anything could nab me and take me away.

But the stares I get from men still unnerved me at times. I had gotten many looks earlier, but no one had approached me. I had darted away from them before they could. This dress didn't help much, even if it was pretty. It attracted much unwanted attention. I tugged at the lace again in an attempt to pull it up.

I was almost skipping now, happy to be free from that crimson gaze that haunted me. Free of my Master who probably belonged in the pits of hell. But who was I to talk, I did too; and I'd have to follow him there if he wished it. God hated the nightwalkers, so it's not like we could belong in paradise.

I shook those thoughts from my head. I didn't like to think about that, it brought back that knot of sorrow in my gut, brought back the nightmares. I had been dreaming lately, if vampires are supposed to dream, of me devouring whole towns, whole cities in a rage. I remembered seeing the face of that man, the one from the hospital in one of them. I saw an image of me gnawing on his neck while both of us went up in flames. That one had really bothered me.

I stopped and sighed. So much for my good mood.

At least there weren't any humans around to aggravate the bloodlust. Though it hadn't been as bad as before, ever since I drank from that stranger.

I brushed cold fingertips against my lips. I could still remember the taste. But I didn't like to linger on it. I always thought that musing over it would turn me into someone like Master.

Thoughts aside, I walked on through the shadows. I admired how the dark makes everything seem so different and eerie.

After a few more footsteps I passed a small pub. There was light shining through the windows, and I could hear what appeared to be a brawl happening on the inside. I caught a few curses, lots of yelling, general obnoxious noises. I stood listening for a moment, just out of reach of the torch's circle of light, hovering in the shadows.

I would have gone in, but I didn't want to be caught up in the chaos. Plus my choice of clothing would draw attention. But the light really was inviting..

"Bonjour."

I turned, startled and baring my fangs.

There was a silhouette of a man leaning against the wall, just out of the light's reach. I took a step back. How could I not have sensed him there?

It's just a man, I thought, telling myself to relax. I don't need to get all bristled over nothing. But it was strange how he had evaded my sight.

He stepped into the light, and I got yet another surprise. Braided hair, one eye..it was him, the one who's blood I'd tasted. He grinned at me, the same charming smile I remembered. Just as handsome as before. But he was dressed roughly, looked dirty, and had a cigarette at his lips.

I was in shock, I'd never had thought that I'd run into him again. I wanted to run, the memories of my mistake flooding back.

He squinted with his one eye, peering at me, but the night hid my face. And I wanted to keep it that way. Did he remember me? Did he even know what I had done to him?

He tilted his head and blew out a puff of smoke. "Is that a shadow of a lady? Those footsteps were too soft, and that figure's way too curvy to be a man."

I gave him an odd look, though I knew he couldn't see it. "Um, yes, I'm a girl." I said, quietly.

Well, I was going to walk away, but too late now. I watched him crush his cigarette underfoot, only to bring out another one. "Why don't you step into the light so I can see you?" He said, tossing his long braid over his neck, and gesturing towards the pub. "The company's bad in there. It'd be nice to have a conversation with someone who isn't a greasy faced thug."

Glad I didn't go into there then. But interesting as this all was, I really didn't want him to see my face, in case he would remember me. I turned to run, but he lightly caught my wrist.

I was one second away from flinging him into the wall, but he let go quickly.

Having been pulled into the light, I stood there blinking up at him. "'Ey, sorry. Did I say something I shouldn't have?" He said, frowning.

I willed myself to calm down yet again, he didn't mean me any harm. Lucky him, I thought.

He just stared at me for a long minute, and I grew uncomfortable. I _really_ wanted to pull up the neckline on this stupid dress. Damn Master and his fashion choices for me.

I forced an awkward smile. "What?"

He looked down and laughed slightly. "Nothing. I was just wondering why someone like you is down here in the dumps."

"..Someone like me?" Guess he didn't recognize me from before. Which made sense, considering he was in the midst of a fever when we first met. Come to think of it, how was he even alive?

"Yeah. Are you lost or something?" He asked.

I shrugged. "No."

He gave me a thoughtful look, as if he was searching for something in my expression. "Have we met before?"

Uh oh. "Um, I don't think so." I smiled, though I'm sure it looked fake.

He continued to peer at me for a minute, then: "...Oh." He said. I didn't think he believed me, but I couldn't tell for sure.

"Well, the name's Pip Bernadette." He grinned. "And who are you?"

"Seras Victoria." I shyly held out my hand, to be polite, just like I was always taught. He reached over and kissed it lightly.

Sudden warmth crashed against my skin, as if I had stepped next to a giant fire. It was unexpected and I jumped. The sensation licked at every place in my body, like a heat wave rising from the depths of a cold ocean.

I took at step back and so did he, a surprised expression on his face. What the bloody hell??

My head was spinning. "N-nice to meet you." I said, attempting to sound normal and failing.

He took a slow drag from his cigarette and I noticed his hand was slightly shaking.

"The pleasure's all mine." He breathed, leaning in closer to me. Closer than he probably should have.

I didn't back away from him like I wanted to, and my body tightened. I was drawn to his face, his scent, everything, like a magnet. My mind was in a panic. What was happening to me?!

Arms went around my waist, and I wrapped mine around his neck. My vision went cloudy, and I thought I felt my heart beat.

Once, twice. Was I alive again?

I was inches from his face, but something protested. I did not want to kiss a stranger!

I turned my head sharply, dragging myself from whatever I was caught in.

I bolted, running back towards the direction I had came. I looked back to see him waver and fall over. I started to go back to see what had happened, but changed my mind when I saw the sun speeding onto the horizon.

The heat was still with me as I ran, clashing with the cool night air. But it was disappearing, and I felt my heart slowly come to a stop.


	4. Unrequited Answers

_Everything was a hazy blur after that, almost as if I was in a dream. My heart, which never beat, had been thrumming in my chest--wild and seemingly alive, like a caged thing. It was painful, but even more so when it stopped, sending my body into spasms. I crashed to the ground, coughing, wondering if vampires could really have..heart attacks? I hadn't known what was going on, I was petrified._

_I spat up blood and heaved until the waves of agony died down. Everything felt dead again, I was drained and cold while the world span around; making me sick. Fear covered my senses more than anything else; if I couldn't get back to the room before the sun rose, I was done for. The light would turn me to dust._

_But finally, after a few more moments of jittering, I calmed down. Shaky and frightened, I barely made my way back to the hotel in time. _

_I didn't see Alucard there, didn't look for him. I only stumbled around, searching for my small pine-wood coffin. When I found it, I collapsed into it; the deep mist of vampiric sleep snatching away all thoughts. _

* * *

I slowly opened my eyes, seeing nothing but black.

_Where, am I?_

There was thick darkness everywhere, and I couldn't see anything at all. I blinked, my head pounding. I had a killer headache, if that's even what it was. _Bloody hell._ I ran my hand through my hair, lightly scraping my elbow on the lid. A lid?

_Oh, that's right._

I was in my coffin, which explained why I was so blind. The sun must have finally gone down. The dreaded night was here again.

_Ugh, I wonder if I can just keep sleeping.._ I really didn't want to get up. I felt drained, like someone zapped all the energy out of me.

Drained, from what happened.._Was that guy okay? I just kinda left him there. _Not like there was really anything I could've done, but..

I rolled over, or tried to. There wasn't much room, a coffin wasn't meant for the person to move around, after all. Did I turn in my sleep? I never had bed hair when I woke up or anything. Not that that was bad..though I still didn't like sleeping in a deathbox. What was so wrong with a bed?

I shut my eyes tightly. I did not want to get up. I tried to ignore the call of the..what was it anyway? The call of the night? It was a pull, a feeling, and though my mind said not to move, that gravity said otherwise. It, whatever it was, did it every night. It drove me mad sometimes. _No! I just want to stay here this time_. Yet it still pulled, making me unbelievably restless.

I fidgeted. This was so aggravating.

I grumbled and covered my ears. I could hear what sounded like the high squeal of bats. They kept getting louder, along with the sounds of nightbirds, rats and people. I could hear the voices and whispers of many humans as they traveled the streets outside. No, I couldn't understand what they were saying, it was all mixed together in a dull hum--that was slowly getting louder. Was there a way to block it out?

Their voices soon curved my all too familiar hunger. It flared up again, and I ground my teeth together to keep from crying out. Between the sounds, the bloodlust, and that feeling I was sure to go crazy. Not that there was a difference, I already felt loony, hearing voices like this. I hadn't known vampires could be schizophrenic.

There was a loud knocking at the top of my coffin.

I opened my eyes, blinking, to see none other then Master.

I immediately noticed that he didn't look very happy. He had a scowl on his face as he peered down at me. "Um, g-good evening." I squeaked.

"Evening. Get up and come on." He sneered, holding up the coffin lid. "Stop being such a late riser."

I sat up cautiously. "-Sorry, I just..I don't feel very well, and I'm tired."

"Oh?" He mocked. "And why is that? You never did bring back anyone last night."

_So that's what that angry face is for._ I squirmed under his gaze. What was I supposed to say to that? "Well.. I did meet someone, but I got sick and-"

_Hold on. I wonder if he could tell me why-?_ I hesitated. It probably wouldn't be wise to ask, but I said it before I could stop myself. "Can vampires hearts beat?"

He looked at me oddly, an amused grin spreading across his face. _Bloody hell, and here I thought he'd yell at me. _"It depends. Why the sudden question Policegirl? You're trying to change the subject."

I stepped out of my coffin carefully, shaking my head. _How am I supposed to explain this?_ "No, I just..I guess..the thing is, my heart..beat yesterday. When I was out last night I mean. It really did, no mistake! It did! It scared me. Before that I had been talking to this man..he'd surprised me too. I didn't see him when I walked by, I never would have realized he was there until he spoke to me. It was weird because, well, we're supposed to see everything and hear everything around us right?

I paused. Alucard didn't say anything, only looked at me with impatience. I continued quickly:

"Oh, and uh..there was this weird..shock..static, I don't know what it was. It zapped me when I touched his hand, like heat, maybe. It's hard to describe. It made me feel alive, for sure, I know. I'm not crazy Master, it did! I think that's what made my heart start. But-but I passed out..barely made it back before the sun rose."

I finished, catching my breath. I tried to read the thoughts swimming behind his eyes, but I couldn't. He didn't look grumpy anymore. Was that good or bad? I waited for his reply, becoming more nervous by the second. Had I made a mistake in telling him? Was something wrong with me, or was this just another part of the undead package?

_I wish he'd say something_. "What's wrong Master..?"

He sat down on the nearest chair. I took a step closer to him carefully. "Master, please answer me!" I couldn't read his expression, which meant he was hiding something. "Am I dying or..?"

"Don't be ridiculous." He said sharply, giving me a look. "You're already dead you idiot. And I'm just thinking, don't panic."

I nodded, sitting down on a velvet couch. _What does this all mean? Why can't anything be easy..? _I wrapped a strand of short blond hair around my finger out of habit. Sometimes I thought I was doomed. _Was my future really going to be this unhappy? I'm sick of being in the dark about my life._

Master was behaving strangely. I expected him to just..then again, I needed to quit trying to guess his reactions to things.

"Have you fed on someone and not told me?"

I jumped a bit at his voice. "-I..don't think so."

_Wait, what about..?_

I gulped. Yeah, I fed that night at the hospital. I drank the blood of that dying man, not very much, but I had still gotten the taste. "Er, well, there was this one time.."

He stood up suddenly, towering over me, eyes flashing. "Did you kill them?"

I was shocked at the venom in his voice. He had a temper, but he never sounded so..angry. I looked down at my feet, quivering. _What should I tell him? Surely he wouldn't hurt me right?_ Then why was I so nervous? "It was just a cut..I didn't actually.."

He jerked me up roughly by my shirt collar, his face an inch from mine. Those haunting eyes drilled holes through my skull. _Not this, he's going to kill me after all. _I felt tears form in the corner of my eyes.

"When did you do it?"

"About a month ago!" I turned away from his burning grimace. "When you sent me into that hospital, I cleaned the wound of a dieing man. That's all! I did what you told me to do, Master." I was on the verge of crying._Dammit_.

He let go, dropping me to the floor. I was left looking up at him with confusion.

"You did not do as you were told. You've made things more complicated than..." He clenched his fist, then sighed, as if trying to calm down. "-But we may be able to fix this."

I was lost, trembling on the ground. He hadn't answered my question, and now I was more bewildered than ever. What on earth had I done?

But I knew better than to ask. I'd find out later, hopefully.

I wiped the moisture from my eyes, rising to stand carefully. I kept my distance from him, just to be safe. His outbursts terrified me, he was capable of more horrible things than I could imagine.

"Go find the man you ran into last night. Bring him back here."

"How?"

He turned his back to me. "Use your instincts, you're a vampire, more or less. It isn't that hard."

He was losing patience. But as always, I didn't want to do what he said. It wasn't that I couldn't be obedient..he just wanted me to do things that were against my beliefs. He wanted me to bring an innocent person back to the hotel, probably to be killed. That was evil, wasn't it? And I was not evil. I wouldn't do it.

But I would leave before he'd give me another lecture. Just being in his presence was terrifying.

Master really was an enigma. His company was strangely reassuring sometimes, if that makes any sense. When we walked together in the darkest alleys in the worst of neighborhoods..well, I was positive nothing could get me. When you have the strongest monster on your side, you're pretty safe.

Though now was not one of those times, at all. I feared if I said one word to him he'd throw me out the window, or feed me to his minions..

"Yes sir." I whispered, and walked out into the night.

* * *

I had had that nightmare again.

I'd been walking along the same alleyway as the night before, when I remembered it with a jolt. Something reminded me of it, a building or a thought, triggering the memory. I dreamed it many times, probably more than I know, as I don't always recall it. But it seemed to lurk in my mind like a plague, giving me an unshakable feeling of dread.

There's always fire, stinging only my legs and arms at first, then spreading all over my body. The pain is more than I can describe, the light from the flames hurting my eyes as it engulfs me..and that stranger..completely.

Then the blood comes, fountains of it, which I take and take from countless people--like a deranged, rabid creature. It seems I never get full enough to stop, I just keep ripping apart everyone in my path.

But it was different the last time. I clearly remember a scythe..though it could have been from a different dream. If you're one of those people who dream often, two dreams can get meshed together sometimes.

That scythe was bothering me, more than than anything else. The blood and the fire, well I'd gotten used to it after a while--not tolerance, more like learning how to deal with a painful lifelong disease.

The new aspect to all the madness, the sharp blade, made things worse. The scythe had gotten thrown at me, by who I don't know, but it ended up lodged in my back, stuck there. Then it was pulled out, while I screamed and bled all over--my arm was slashed away, then my eyes..what had happened to my eyes? I couldn't recall. But maybe it was best if I didn't.

It was only a nightmare, but it felt very real, almost as if it really happened. It hadn't, of course. But it was hard to reassure myself that when I woke in suffocating darkness of my coffin. Part of me laughed at the irony. I can posses fear? But I thought I was a vampire? The legends never told that the _lamia_, the _vamypre,_ could feel anything at all.

The dream seemed to be getting worse and worse anyway. What even caused it to begin with?

I tried to put it behind me, as I often did with disturbing things like that. But it wouldn't help, I lived in a disturbing world, where destruction was my forced way of living.

* * *

Master was making me miserable again. I didn't want to be here.

He was right, it was easy to find my way back to the pub, amazingly enough. I reminded myself that I needed to go back there, despite the fact I didn't know it's exact location. And soon I ended up right at the bar's door! As if my feet knew where to walk even if my head didn't. I wasn't sure how that worked, it was actually a little scary, but it was useful. Just another vampiric power, I suppose.

The night was clouded and gloomy, no stars could be seen. Yet oddly, the moon was still large and round in the sky. A good sign, as Master would say. Yet I didn't feel very confidant. I stood outside in the cold air, just out of the torch light's reach, as I did yesterday. My stomach was churning out of nervousness, but I couldn't say why I was so anxious. It might have been due to my growing fear of light. I felt drawn to it, though at the same time..repelled. My human mind wanted it, just as it wanted the blue sky of day. I was somewhat starved of light, but I had to grow accustomed to it; Alucard usually kept rooms dark and dreary.

And now, stepping into the bar would mean a lot of bright light, noise, and humans. But I really didn't have a choice. The man wasn't standing outside the building as I'd hoped. I only prayed I could control myself around a group of people. I was also starved of blood; it was like grouping a malnourished dog in with a flock of sheep. The result may not be pretty. Though I would only go in for a second, find the guy, then leave. It wouldn't be that bad, I could control myself.

I wasn't planning on bringing the stranger back to the hotel, of course. I only wanted to talk with him, see if he felt what I had last night; hopefully gain some answers. I really doubted he would know anything, but it was worth a try. Alucard certainly hadn't helped any.

I hated to disobey Master. I didn't know what he had planned, but I wasn't going to risk it. Who knows what he'd do to that poor man if he got his hands on him. I wasn't about to hand an innocent over to a monster, like a goat to the slaughterhouse.

_What is his name, anyway?_ I probably needed to know, just in case I had to ask for him. But he shouldn't be that hard to find, considering the man only had one eye. That wasn't a common sight these days. Not in England or France, anyway.

_It was Berna..something..Bernadette? I think._

I stood there at the entranceway, trying to muster up courage to step inside. I had finally forced myself into the light of the entranceway, blinking, seeing my shadow dance across the old stone walls. I glanced down at my arms and hands, which were so pale the skin seemed to glow. I knew it was the same all over my body, and with my white-blond hair, my appearance was rather unusual. Vampiric transformation enhances all the good in a person's physical traits--and the result is beautiful, if not vaguely unnatural. Humans couldn't pinpoint exactly what seemed off to them; and so some of them just stare. And gawk. And make a girl feel really uncomfortable.

Which would probably happen as soon as I stepped inside. I sighed. I didn't need to draw attention to myself. I only wanted to get in and get out quickly.

_Just do it already!_ I gulped. I could do this, it was only a pub for God's sake.

I grabbed the door handle, but before I could do anything else, it swung open with a bang--slamming me behind it.

Two men came running out, cursing loudly at each other in French. They didn't even notice me, they were too busy causing a commotion. The shorter man angrily pushed the other one, the scowl on his face reminding me of a bulldog's. The other retailed with a punch, and soon they were both rolling around on the ground in a brawl. I could hear more shouting in the pub, and to my surprise, three more drunk gentlemen were thrown out onto the street.

I rubbed my head where the door hit me, looking down at them with half shock, half amusement. I wondered what on earth they could be fighting so ambitiously about; I had no clue. I couldn't understand a thing they were saying. _Oh well! It's none of my business_. I just wish they would've been more careful. I didn't much like being squished into the wall.

I slipped inside the bar before they stopped and noticed me.

The place was warm and bright, I was partly blinded for a moment. When one is so used to the dark, a well lit room is hard to adjust to. The building seemed pretty run down, though not quite as bad as the outside. The stone walls were covered in pictures and cheap old tapestries; small round tables stood close together, holding the drinks of noisy peasants. The people seemed lively enough; they weren't fighting like the men outside, only talking loudly amongst themselves. The smell of beer and other alcohol hung in the air like smoke.

Nobody was paying me any attention. _Good, that means this'll be somewhat painless._

Moving from the doorway, I sat the furtherest away from everyone as possible. I briefly scanned the group for any signs of Mr. Bernadette, but he wasn't there. _Maybe finding him will be harder than I thought.._

After a while, I saw a few strangers glance in my direction; I was probably a new face to them, but it wouldn't be wise to talk. They might panic if they spotted my pointed fangs, even if I was good at concealing them. I didn't dare take a chance. As Master told me once, "we may be powerful, but a large group of mortals can destroy some of us as easily as anything." I doubted they could so much as scratch Alucard, but they could probably harm me. I didn't want to be chased out of France by a mob wielding wooden stakes.

So, for now, I had no mortal friends. _Even if I'd like some nice company every once in awhile._ I felt sorrow in my gut at the thought, but I pushed it back.

I took a seat by the bar, trying to ignore the stares I could feel as I walked. Men gaped, a few women stared in jealousy, some just out of pure curiosity. People always did that, where ever I went, and it grew tiresome.

I turned my back against everyone, ignoring them, feeling guilty for being so rude. I could hear their whispers as clearly as if they were next to me, but I didn't understand their language. Not that it mattered, because it would only bother me. It's hard to concentrate with twenty voices gabbing in your ear.

I sat there, thinking. What if I really couldn't find Bernadette? What was I to tell Alucard when I returned? I had to make up some excuse. Master would know I was lying, no matter what I said. There was no fooling him. I wasn't terrified that he would kill me; though earlier I'd had my doubts. It was more like a child breaking a rule, and coming home to the bear the wrath of parents.

That was a funny idea. Alucard was my vampiric 'father.' What would that make me, his fledgeling little girl?

I snickered. It was such a stupid thought. Perhaps it just struck me funny because my sanity was disappearing; I don't know.

A hand tapped the bar in front of me. My gaze drifted up to the bartender, a grey-headed man holding a foamy glass of beer. He said something to me, though it only sounded like noise, just as did the voices from the tables behind. I was slightly homesick; I could understand everyone there, but here I was lost.

I assumed he was asking if I wanted anything. "Um, no, I'm alright but thank you." I said pleasantly, waving a hand. He smiled politely, and left to talk with a man seated farther down.

I sighed, feeling very out of place. I wasn't in the mood for alcohol, I was never much for it; except when I had my horrible hunger spells. So there was no use in passing the time in a run down pub, but_..I should wait a bit longer, maybe.._

I felt eyes on me suddenly, giving me a strange shock, not like the others. I turned to the right, not for any reason, just a reflex--and locked gazes with a one eyed man. This startled me, and I jumped--because I was looking into the face of Mr.Bernadette.

My excitement grew. Messy, braided brown hair and a patch over his right eye. No mistake, it was him!

He was sitting only a few seats away from me, at the very end of the bar. I don't know how I managed to overlook his presence, he had been so close. Jumping from my stool, and forgetting myself, I rushed over to him.

My enthusiasm must have surprised him, because he looked at me strangely for a moment. I blushed, knowing how unusual I was acting. But I couldn't' help it! I was worried I wouldn't find him, I was afraid I harmed him the night before, and so many other things. _Maybe he would have an idea as to why..he felt that weird..thing hadn't he?_

I stopped before I bombarded him with questions. I cleared my throat and nodded my head in apology. "Sorry I didn't mean..uh, may I sit down?"

He regarded me a moment with calm curiosity. "Fine by me." he said with his alluring accent, a tired smile at his lips.

I relaxed, glad I hadn't scared him too badly. He appeared the same as the night before, wearing that exhausted aura around him--his clothing still dirty, and stubble at his jawline. He smelled of musky beer, and there was a faint..feeling of sadness on his expression, making him look older than he probably was.

"Miss Victoria, was it? Nice to see you again." he said, a cool voice wiping away any trace of sorrow.

I smiled shyly. "Yes, it's good to see you too, Mr. Bernadette." It was awkward talking with him, as if nothing had happened at all. Just looking at him brought back the memory of the terrible night at the hospital. "Are..you're alright, I take it?" I was referring to the episode from yesterday, not sure how to bring up the subject. I couldn't dance around it all night, even if I wanted to; I didn't have the time.

"_Oui_, I am fine." He said simply..almost in a flirtatious way? "You?"

That bizarre 'moth to the flame' sensation was clouding over my mind again. "I'm okay."

What happened the previous night could happen again; that had occurred to me earlier, but I hadn't been afraid. I was curious, and Master kicked me out of our room anyway. But now..with the strange feeling surfacing, like a dormant animal awakening, I was beginning to have second thoughts.

Bernadette however, seemed immune. "It's as if I've been seeing you everywhere girl, do you know that? An I don't even know who the hell you are. You're gorgeous though, I'll give you that."

That comment jarred me from whatever revere I was going into. "What?" I blurted, frowning.

He laughed, taking a sip of bear.

My face was red, I was sure. I could feel the heat seeping into my cheeks. "Do you..remember what happened last night?" I asked, not knowing how to respond to his comment. "Did you notice anything weird? I know this is a strange thing to ask in itself, really, but-"

"Yes, there was a shock or something, and I passed out. I was thinking I just had too much to drink, but that's not it, if you felt it too."

I nodded, somewhat disappointed. He didn't have any idea, but what did I expect? "So..you don't know what it was?"

"_Non_, I don't. Do you?"

"Not in the least." I told him honestly.

He leaned down, too close to my face for comfort. I suddenly remembered that I almost kissed the man in my haze yesterday. I shifted uncomfortably. This was so embarrassing!

"You came in here just to ask me that?" He asked, suspiciously.

I frowned again. "I wanted to see if you were unharmed, too..but yes, that's all."

"Oh."

I raised a brow. "What else did you think..?"

"Actually, I was afraid you were a.." he smiled sheepishly, "--a prostitute. Cause if you are, I don't have any money, you know."

"_What?!"_

_A prostitute? Did I really look like a whore?! Of all the rotten, perverted things he could-_

"I'm not a hooker, you bloody idiot!"

I must not have said that too quietly, because all background chatter ceased, and every person in the bar turned to gawk at me--and Mr.Bernadette looked slightly panicked.

But I didn't care. That was enough. _This conversation is over! I have never been so offended in my...really, a prostitute?! _

I grumbled angrily, slid from my seat, and turned my back on him._ I'd just go back to the hotel and face Master. Better than being insulted!_

"Ah, dammit." he said, cursing himself. "Ms. Victoria!"

I was pissed off, I couldn't believe that someone would have the gall to say such a thing.

Ignoring the stares I was getting, I left, slamming the door on my way out.

* * *

_This chapter is way longer than the previous ones, but I alot of things had to happen at once. Sorry for the wait too, it took me awhile to update this. But I hope it was worth it! Also, Seras does refer to Alucard almost continuously, but that's because her life is in chaos..he's pretty much her savior and her nightmare at this point. But I hope it isn't overkill. Pip is not really a sad character either, but I kind of described him that way for a few reasons(you'll find out why in the next chapter.) Anyway, thanks for reading! _


End file.
